I know I shouldn't be doing this. But, I'm just so tired of studying, Like I study alot lah kan, padahal buat revision x sampai half an hour, da penat, g kacau orang sana sini. I don't know how should I say this. But right now, what I am feeling is a mixture of feelings. First of all, kesian blog ni sebab da lama tak di update and I am very sure takde siapa pun baca blog ni dah. Hahaha. My first paper will be on 27th Oct. Very soon ayye? Haihh, sangat malas nak study ni. Kadang-kadang rasa marah, kadang-kadang rasa kesian, kadang0kadang rasa bengang. Entah lah. Penat tau tak? How I wish I could go some where yang orang lain tatau and be on my own. How I wish! Penat melayan kerenah orang. Penat nak puaskan hati semua orang and end up kita yang sakit. Sangat-sangat penat! Penat dengan orang yang tak faham kita. Penat dengan orang yang pentingkan diri sendiri. Penat dengan orang yang tak nak faham kehendak kita. Kita pun ada kehendak jugak. Kita pun ada rasa nak itu nak ini jugak. I am just so freakin tired! I really really am! I just need my own time. I need a 'me time'. But why I just can't get one? Why are all these people keep on doing things to me? Why? Dear God, I'll take these as my challenges. But till when do I have to face them? Sometimes I just kept on asking, why me? Why not anyone else? I know it's not a good thing to do. But I am just a normal human being and I want to live a normal life and sometimes I think that my life is abnormal. Why???? Haihhh. I know I shouldn't be complaining about things. I am just so thankful to have people who loves me around me. I do feel blessed. Bila saya tengok orang lain happy with their loved ones, saya jealous. Saya tak tahu kenapa. It's not that I am not happy, I am happy, tapi biasalah, manusia, tamak. I just don't know what to say anymore. I hope this feeling will end soon, very very soon. Dear God, please make me stronger. I know I have to be strong. I really need the strength. InsyaAllah I will never give up. My friends, I miss you very very much. I really need you right now. There's alot that I need to tell you guys about. I really hope we can meet.
xoxo
