i've been cursing too much for today.

being the unlucky one has never been my choice and as for today, i learnt a very good lesson, the useful one indeed.

"luck has never been on my side"

sounds pathetic?

HELL YEAH!!!

there is no one else to be blamed but ME, MYSELF, and I.

silly me for being such an idiot and an unreasonable human being on earth for those past few days.

padan muka!!!!!!!!!!!!

i jz have to accept the fact that its too late to regret.

i shud have realized this a long time ago.

*sigh*sigh*

praying and hoping for a better day tomorrow

Just for the sake of updating

Just for the sake of updating. I've been very2 busy this week. I have 4 quizzes this week and I have assignments to submit. And ouh yeah, I have a presentation by end of this week. Guess what am I going to present about? Heh. WANITA DALAM ISLAM. OMG!. I feel like I am so la tak layak to present that title. Luckily that is a group presentation, so I don't have to stand in front of everyone alone. Heh. I have to admit it that this sem tersangatlah busy. Busy tak terkata. It's like everyone is rushing to do this and that. Even lecturers pun macam terkejar-kejar nak buat everything at one time. Pergghh, rase macam nak gila da. In 2 weeks time da start midterm exam. Rasa macam baru je register for this sem kot. Haish, tatau lah. Memang sangat busy la kan.

I am missing my family so damn much right now. I really2 hope that my family is here with me. I need my parents and I need my sisters badly. And yeah, I miss Waffy so much! Teringat pulak yg dia nangis before I balik sini that day. That day I mimpi Waffy. In my dream, dia macam tak terurus. Serabai gila. And he got lost in my dream. Then someone hantar dia balik. When I asked him dia pergi mana, he said that dia pergi cari baju raya cuz raya da nak dekat. When I woke up from my sleep, I cried. I guess I miss him so much. Too bad this year I have to celebrate raya on my own again. Haish, I started to hate raya since I was 17. I just don't like the feeling. Celebrating raya all alone. Eventhough I balik kampung but still, Abah and Mama are not there. Ayong, Ieqa, Raffy and Waffy are not there. I didn't even get the chance to salam Abah and Mama on the 1st day of raya. For almost 3 years I didn't get the chance to do that. And for those 3 years I hanya tgk my cousins buat tu. That is why I don't like to go back to my grandparents house when it comes to hari raya. But then, I still have to go back to my grandparents house or else Abah will bising2. So, in order tanak bagi Abah terasa, I have to do that eventhough it kills me to see those things. I'm not sure wether I will go back to my grandparents house or not this year. I just don't feel like going back. I just wanna stay at my house all alone. I prefer staying at my house alone rather than seeing things that will make me cry for days. Heh. People just don't understand. It is hard living a life like mine.

Enough of that I think. If I terus merepek. Sampai esok pun x habis. Okay then. I have to do some revision. There will be a quiz tomorrow. Okay then. Till next time. Bye.

xoxo

-zafirahrosland-

my oh my!!

shoba sent me a msg rite after our criminal class and it says;

"makcik!he lambai.he LIKE CARI U TAU.then he tanya pegi makan ke?cafe desa?

damn!!!!!!i shud hv used the same way.blame it all on this wrong timing "shi-shi."

but the phrase "he like cari u" makes me smiling all way long.

why cant u just come up to me and concede everything u need to??

stop giving me gestures, signs or anything else dat u've been doing lately.

i've got all that okay=)?

all i need is just one thing.CONFESSION.

and i wud definitely say yeah,me too!!!!!with no hesitation.

hahahahaha.

it's been only one day but i am missing my two besties, zafirah and ein already. hw i wish i could spend a little bit more time longer with them. i had a really great weekend with them.angah, thanx for comin all the way from muadzam and the same goes to ein for willing to spend ur weekend over here.but still i hvnt really got the chance to make our last holiday as awesome and superb as promised.sorry for any inconvenience ya my dear friends.abut angah, i promise dat i'l make it up to u.our nex holiday is gona be fantastic.

hana=)

Thanks for the memories.

To my dearest Hana n Shazreena, thanks for the memories. My weekend was SUPERB!! Can't thank both of u enough for these. Thanks to Hana for everything. I had a really great weekend. Sayang korg sangat2 sampai bila. Miss both of u already. And, ouh yeah Hana, I miss 'Afiq' too. =P

Ouh, before I lupa Hana, jgn lupa pasang lampu kete u if u drive malam2 eyh? Nnt u igt org nak ngorat or kacau u pulak. LOL. Just kidding. Love both of u lots n lots.

xoxo

-zafirahrosland-

YAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAWN!!!!!!!!

YAWN!!!!!!!

wut a boring day.*sigh*

its only the 3rd day of the week.

there is no such specific word to describe how lame and boring the day is.

i've been yawnin in ms isabella's class n i even fell asleep in her class for the 1st time.*sigh*

am happy to know dat angah's comin over on this weekend.at least, i have one good reason not to feel bored.as i promised to angah, SEOUL'S GARDEN, LAKSA NYONYA,here we come!!!

Love? Hate? Friends?

"It's weird how she goes from being strangers

to being friends, to being more than friends,

to being practically strangers again.

And it all happens so fast."

This was a text given by someone to me. I know exactly what does this someone means. But, hello? I don't really care. Me being more than friends with you? Waddahel? Well, I think I never did that. I never give you hope, I never even say that I love you or what so ever. In fact, when you asked me wether I missed you or not, I just said that I don't know. Don't you actually understand what does that mean? Okay, listen here, I am avoiding you right now. Can't you see that? Duuhh, I didn't even answer your call, I didn't reply all your texts. I think I have shown it clearly that I am currently avoiding you. Is that so hard for you to understand it? I don't have feelings for you. My heart is not for you for the time being and maybe not forever. Well, I can't say that actually, who knows one day God will open my heart to accept you. But I hope HE won't. And there's this another someone. I've known this another someone for about 4 years. I think I've rejected this another someone twice. I don't know why, how hard this another someone tried, I just can't accept this another someone. Hmmmppphhh, it's hard to deal with this kind of thing. I've said clearly to this another someone that I don't have feelings for this another someone. Okay, at first this another someone can accept it. But lately, this another someone is acting weirdly. This another someone said that this another someone will wait for me. Okay, please, don't do this to me. Maybe meeting this another someone that day was a HUGE mistake! This another someone knows that I can't accept this another someone as more than friends. But then the way this another someone is treating me right now, is like more than friends. OMG! Waddahel again??? This another someone starts to show that this another someone cares for me very very much. Even benda yg dia patut nak risau pun dia risau. Haish. Waddahel la? Merepek tau x? Rimas. I didn't even reply this another someone's text today. God, please help me. I don't know why I just can't open my heart for them. Maybe I've watched a lot of movies and I read a lot of novels and I want a perfect guy for me. But I know there's no such thing as A PERFECT GUY. I'm having a syndrom called BOVARYSME. This is where I imagine myself as a heroin in a movie with a perfect hero. Something like that la. I don't know how long will this thing last. But, hey, everyone has the right to dream right?

xoxo

-zafirahrosland-

39!!!!!!!!!!

tolak tolak TAMBAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey sini sini...

yang tu lah..

berlian!!!

hahahahaha!!!

dis is wut happened during our "supposedly discussion" session last nite. we, i mean shoba nazuan and i played a real fun game,ah i forgot the name but its on facebook.its a game which tells you the size of ur brain based on a few games yang sgt menguji IQ.not forgotten math test okay??and and my math isnt dat bad actually.hehehe.but still we FAILED to compete the size of ees's brain.can u imagine hw "slow" we are??3 vs 1 but too bad, still KALAH

p/s:welcome to our club malya.hehe.sometimes its just best to live w/o a man who complicates our life u noe.believe me, u'll find ur man one day.it's worth waiting tau.=)
uwh btw i hope u r okay and if theres anythin u wana share, feel free to text me okay?

Facts

Well, these are kind of true.

When a GIRL is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers " I'm fine " after a few seconds ... she is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL says " I love you " ... she means it.
When a GIRL says " I miss you " ... no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once and I want to make sure that I spend it with the right person. I need a guy who calls me beautiful instead of hot. Who calls me back when I hung up on him and who will stay awake just to watch me sleep. I will wait for a guy who kisses my forehead, who wants to show off the world when I am in my sweats. Who holds my hands in front of his friends. Who is constantly reminding me of how much he cares about me and he is lucky to have me. =)
I hope that this guy will be mine one day. =)

xoxo

-zafirahrosland-

while browsing the net a few mins ago, i found dis one interesting article about GUYS who are the most not-understandable creature:

99 FACTS ABOUT GUYS

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.
8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.
10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.
11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.
    
12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking! but do not generalise
13. Guys cry!!!<hell yeah,dis is so true!!>
    
14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.
15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.
16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.
17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.
20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you.
22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow". ......so true!!!
23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
24. Guys hate gays!
25. Guys love their moms.
26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.
28. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
31. Like Eve, girls are guys’ weaknesses.
32. Guys are very open about themselves.
33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.
34. No guy is bad when he is courting
35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.
37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.......very true.
39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.
41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts. too bad IDTS.haha
    
42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.
43. Guys virtually brag about anything.
44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
45. Guys think too much.
46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.
47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!......very true.
48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!
49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.
50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.
51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.
52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.
53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.
55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed P**** with their girlfriends.....sumtimes depends wen they want sumat.
56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll probably see that he is nervous.
57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.
58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me"......sumtimes.
59. Guys don't really have final decisions.
60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.
61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him....very important.
62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.
63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.
64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.
67. A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.
68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake. ....they love u regardless.
69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!......true but only wen the guys are ready 2be settled down.
70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.
72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.
73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be surprised.
74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.
75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.
77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.
78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.
79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.
80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they'll realize they're wrong.
81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too stubborn to deal with it.
82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.
84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.
85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.
86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed by you or he's criticizing you.
87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.
88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.
89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.
90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!
92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.
93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.
94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.
95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!
97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.
98. Guys hate girls who overreact. uwh ya?i heard one saying dat "perempuan kena gedik sikit baru SYOK"
    
99. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.

-hana-

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A SITUATION WHERE YOU FEEL THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG SUMWHERE BUT U JUST DON'T KNOW WUT IT IS?

having tonnes of thoughts in my mind is really suffocating.IT REALLY IS and if anyone asks does dat bother me?YES it really DOES to the extention of screaming out loud!!
while trying to figure out wut exactly is wrong with my life, i am lost.TOTALLY LOST.
everything seems so wrong.my personal life, my friends and even my social life here.EVERYTHING is just so wrong.definetely not the way i want them to be.
hw i wish i cud find the perfect solution to every single of my problem but i noe its impossible.
HOW can i possibly find the solution when i dont even know the ROOT of my problem.
i am just hoping everythin will turn out the way it is supposed to be but u noe, "hidup tak selalunya indah." So i'd better get both of my feets on the ground.

*sigh*sigh*
-hana-

I'm Back!

I'm back. I'm in my room now at MUADZAM SHAH, LONDON. LOL. I arrived here yesterday. Yesterday was a very2 tiring day. Sangat memenatkan. I drove for about 6 hours yesterday. Sangat penat, then I have to angkat barang from the stor to my apartment. Barang berat2 pulak tu. Adoi je la. Sangat la penat.

My class starts today. Alhamdulillah everything went on very2 smoothly. Hehe. Thank God I dapat lecturers yg sangat best! In order to that, I have to study hard n smart to get the best result ever this semester. Please pray for me. Huhu. I hope that everything will berjalan dgn lancar this sem. I really2 hope so.

Actually, I'm missing a few ppl in my life so much right now. I miss my family, I miss my friends n I miss someone. I really2 miss them. I xjadi pegi Melaka this week. Ohh Hana, I really2 need to see you actually. But, nak buat macam mane, you have things to do right? Never mind, I'm going to see you next week. I really can't wait to see you!! And Malya, I really2 hope you can come too. I miss u guys badly! Oh My God, I just wish my loved ones are here with me right now. I need them.

xoxo

-zafirahrosland-

missing my loved ones so much!

we had joy we had fun=)


let those pictures explain, okay folks?


shoba-hana-nazuan-ihsan
zetty-hana-shoba-nazuan
meal of the day=)
HAPPINESS=)

we really had fun yesterday, i MUST say. i have not been out like yesterday since months, years??

the one dat shud be highlighted here is the meal of the day. we went to this one korean restaurant located in MAHKOTA PARADE as introduced by nazuan. it was all worth it people.RM20 for everything they have there.believe me, EVERYTHING and its for unlimited time. puas gila ok??
BBQ??STEAMBOAT??ICE-CREAM??ABC??just name it.
let me say it again, RM20 for UNLIMITED TIME.

Dilemma..

Im actually dont know how to start my story..Erm,mayb it started since my bf n i were far apart n we seems like xamik tau hal msg2 sgt.He didnt call me bout 2months n i dont know y..Even msg pon da cm xtau nk ckp pe..Fine la..I dun give a damn for what he has done.Just let it be..Im also confused with my status now.It's so complicated n hard to describe.I've been talked to hana bout this but still mcm xtng lg.hurm.I wanna let u all know i'm not totally in love with him anymore.full stop.

The 2nd part of my life story begins.This is what i'm trying to tell hana just now.But,she said that her proxy is not working well.It's ok..Malya akan story..About few weeks ago,my friend zmn skola dlu ttbe ctct blk.He wasn't a bainunian but frm one of the well known school in perak..I adored him suatu masa dahulu.hahaha did u all know i pnah ske indian guy@ guy yg mix indian??hoho the oldies story come again.He's pan asian.Pan asian kah??haha His grandfather is indian so do his dad.hoho n his face ok la to me..malay+indian..haha
One nyte,die luahkn la mcm he likes me.haha cant be serious! kunun da trpikat la pe la..
but i wat bodo je..
now,he treats me like his gf..called me syg la pe la..bt i refused to treat him like he did.
Sometimes,i tot mcm i akn dpt ape yg i nak dulu..hahaha klakar kan??even xmluap2 mcm dlu,but i still rase..i do LIKE him!! haha
SUKA xsmestinya CINTA..that's the fact..=)
For this time being,i just lyn mcm bese..afta this i xtau..coz he'll be leaving..He's going to be a medical student at Royal College of Surgeons,Ireland..
Gosh! xlame lg akn sgt jauh frm him..n dun tink we're meant to be togetha..haha At least,he's my friend..Itu da ckup..Even ade la rse cm sdey but im chilled..=)
Im not like b4 yg ske flirty2..but sape tau he's goin to be my life partner..Aminn..Doctor kan..sape xmau..=D
Ape2 pun..i love being single now..Im free..Hve fun with friends is more joyful! Dun wori.. i'll wait for my dream guy..he will be comin soon..Hopefully..Amin..=)