Love? Hate? Friends?

"It's weird how she goes from being strangers

to being friends, to being more than friends,

to being practically strangers again.

And it all happens so fast."

This was a text given by someone to me. I know exactly what does this someone means. But, hello? I don't really care. Me being more than friends with you? Waddahel? Well, I think I never did that. I never give you hope, I never even say that I love you or what so ever. In fact, when you asked me wether I missed you or not, I just said that I don't know. Don't you actually understand what does that mean? Okay, listen here, I am avoiding you right now. Can't you see that? Duuhh, I didn't even answer your call, I didn't reply all your texts. I think I have shown it clearly that I am currently avoiding you. Is that so hard for you to understand it? I don't have feelings for you. My heart is not for you for the time being and maybe not forever. Well, I can't say that actually, who knows one day God will open my heart to accept you. But I hope HE won't. And there's this another someone. I've known this another someone for about 4 years. I think I've rejected this another someone twice. I don't know why, how hard this another someone tried, I just can't accept this another someone. Hmmmppphhh, it's hard to deal with this kind of thing. I've said clearly to this another someone that I don't have feelings for this another someone. Okay, at first this another someone can accept it. But lately, this another someone is acting weirdly. This another someone said that this another someone will wait for me. Okay, please, don't do this to me. Maybe meeting this another someone that day was a HUGE mistake! This another someone knows that I can't accept this another someone as more than friends. But then the way this another someone is treating me right now, is like more than friends. OMG! Waddahel again??? This another someone starts to show that this another someone cares for me very very much. Even benda yg dia patut nak risau pun dia risau. Haish. Waddahel la? Merepek tau x? Rimas. I didn't even reply this another someone's text today. God, please help me. I don't know why I just can't open my heart for them. Maybe I've watched a lot of movies and I read a lot of novels and I want a perfect guy for me. But I know there's no such thing as A PERFECT GUY. I'm having a syndrom called BOVARYSME. This is where I imagine myself as a heroin in a movie with a perfect hero. Something like that la. I don't know how long will this thing last. But, hey, everyone has the right to dream right?

xoxo

-zafirahrosland-